100+ Best Sorte Jokes – Hilarious & Dark Humor (2025)

Welcome to the ultimate collection of Sorte Jokes that will tickle your funny bone and dive into the depths of dark humor! If you’re searching for a blend of wit, sarcasm, and edgy punchlines, you’re in the right place.

This curated list of over 100 Sorte Jokes is designed to keep you entertained, whether you’re sharing laughs with friends or seeking a mischievous chuckle.

From clever one-liners to bold, boundary-pushing quips, these jokes cater to humor enthusiasts who appreciate a daring twist. Get ready to explore the best Sorte Jokes of 2025 that are guaranteed to leave you grinning—or grimacing!

Funny Sorte Jokes

Dive into these funny, dark humor jokes that blend wit with morbid themes, ideal for those who appreciate edgy laughter amid taboo topics—updated for 2025 with fresh twists ensuring chuckles despite the grim undertones and unexpected punchlines.

1. What do you call 13 witches in a jacuzzi? A self-cleaning coven.
2. What did one DNA expert say to the other? Do these genes make me look fat?
3. I asked my friend if he thinks he’s paranoid. He said, “Who wants to know?”
4. What happens if you pass gas at church? You sit in your pew.
5. How do you pick up a one-legged hitchhiker? Tell him to hop in.
6. Someone tried to sell me a coffin once. I told him, “That’s the last thing I need.”
7. How do you know if your spouse is a bad cook? Everyone prays after the meal.
8. What did the husband say after his wife asked him to talk dirty to her? “Sure. The bathroom, the kitchen, and the laundry, for starters.”
9. Did you hear about the zoo that only has a single dog? It’s a Shih Tzu.
10. How is a push-up bra like a bag of potato chips? The minute you open it, you realize it’s half-empty.
11. What did the ancient Roman say after a lion ate his wife? “Gladiator.”
12. When’s the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades.
13. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out, man.
14. What do you call someone who never passes gas in public? A private tooter.
15. A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
16. I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting closer and closer … and then it hit me.
17. A man goes to a therapist and says, “Doctor, why do people keep ignoring me?” The therapist replies, “Next!”
18. Did you hear about the guy who swallowed a frog? They say he’s gonna croak.
19. My husband calls me a skeptic. But I don’t believe anything he says.
20. Did you hear about the new book on constipation? It hasn’t come out yet.
21. Did you hear about the wig thief who escaped from prison? The police are combing the area trying to find him.
22. I once had a job smashing cans. It was soda pressing.
23. Do old refrigerators ever die? No, they just lose their cool.
24. I once asked a guy to call me a taxi. He said he would, but that I look more like a truck.
25. My wife asked her doctor if she should have kids after 40. He told her no, 40 is more than enough.
26. How is Christmas like a day at the office? You do all the work, then some guy who only shows up once a year takes all the credit.
27. I called out sick from my job, and when I came back, my boss yelled at me for missing work. I told him he was wrong; I didn’t miss it at all.
28. Bacon and eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
29. What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter. He’s not coming either way.
30. They say three out of five people suffer from a chronic disease. Does that mean two of them enjoy it?
31. I don’t like camping. Then again, I don’t enjoy anything in tents.
32. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But then I turned myself around.

Sort puns and Jokes

Explore these clever dark humor puns and jokes mixing wordplay with shadowy themes, great for fans of twisted wit on sensitive matters. Refreshed in 2025 with new clever spins for morbid amusement.

1. Did you hear about the elderly man who fell into a well? ApHeouldn’t see that well.
2. Did you hear about the octopus that held up a bank? It was an armed robbery.
3. George Washington never got a good night’s sleep. Hehad a problem lying.
4. How many feet are there in a yard? It depends on how many people are standing there.
5. I once thought about studying sodium. Then I thought, “Na.”
6. What do you call someone who loves Mondays? Retired.
7. Harry Potter was driving down the street. Then he turned into a driveway.
8. Did you hear about the paint boat that sank? All the sailors were marooned.
9. Why did the statue leave her husband? She was tired of being taken for granted.
10. Did you hear about the two golf courses that fell in love? It was a long-distance relationship.
11. Why did the zombies get divorced? Their marriage was dead.
12. Why did the lion go to therapy? He found out his wife was a cheetah.
13. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterward.
14. “Aren’t you wearing your ring on the wrong finger?” “Yes, I’m married to the wrong man.”
15. My wife ran off with my best friend last year. I still miss him.
16. Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade.
17. Did you hear about the couple of bed bugs? They got married in the spring.
18. Taking my husband’s name wasn’t a feminist act. I just don’t want anyone I went to high school with to find me.
19. Any man getting married should forget his mistakes. There’s no reason two people should remember them in detail.
20. What’s the difference between “incomplete “ and “finished”? A man without a wife feels incomplete. Once he’s married, he’s finished.
21. Wife: I love you. Husband: Is that you or the wine talking? Wife? It’s me talking. To the wine.
22. What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind. Marriage is eye-opening.
23. Which one of your kids will never grow up and move out? Your husband.
24. How does a man satisfy his wife in bed? By sleeping on the sofa.
25. My husband told me to do whatever makes me happy. I’ll miss him.
26. My wife is mad I ruined our anniversary, which is odd. I don’t even know when it is.
27. Why is being married worse than going to work? At least at work, you might get a new boss.
28. My husband is driving me to drink. It’s better than taking an Uber.
29. How are husbands like wine? They take years and years and years to mature.
30. My husband told me I’m a know-it-all. I told him I already knew that.
31. My wife says romance is better on vacation. I wish she hadn’t told me via postcard.
32. I just came across my husband’s Hinge profile, and I can’t believe how he lies. He says he’s “fun to be around.”

Sorte Jokes one-liners

Uncover these sharp dark humor one-liners delivering quick morbid punches, suited for quick wits enjoying brief taboo hilarity. Revamped in 2025 with current snappy lines for instant grim grins.

1. I just got my doctor’s test results, nd I’m upset about it. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.
2. My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
3. Today, I asked my phone, “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.
4. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
5. The doctor gave me some cream for my skin rash. He said I was a sight for psoriasis.
6. Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
7. I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
8. Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
9. My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
10. What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found.
11. Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? It’s a wonderful saying, but a horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
12. My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what he’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
13. Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t an awful person.
14. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
15. Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
16. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
17. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
18. My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
19. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
20. A priest asks the convicted murderer in the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”
21. I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
22. The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
23. You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
24. Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield? Everywhere.
25. Why did the zombies get divorced? Their marriage was dead.
26. There are lots of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, none of them works.
27. My boss said, “Have a good day!” So, I went home.
28. To err is human; to blame others shows management potential.
29. Why did the guy get fired from the calendar company? He took a day off.
30. You know what they say about a clean desk? It’s a sign of cluttered drawers.
31. Why did you leave your last job? The company relocated and didn’t tell me where.
32. Getting a job at a paperless office is great until you have to go to the bathroom.

Sorte Jokes Stories

Discover these narrative dark humor joke stories weaving morbid tales with humorous ends, for story lovers seeking longer twisted fun. Enhanced in 2025 with modern storytelling for deeper dark delight.

1. A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
2. I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then, I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
3. A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
4. I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
5. When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in.
6. I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins. I was about to run and tell my wife, when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden…
7. I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
8. I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.
9. My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
10. Man: How do you prepare your chicken? Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
11. My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
12. Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: You’re next”. So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
13. I went to visit my childhood home, but the people who lived there wouldn’t let me in. My parents are the worst.
14. I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
15. I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
16. Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.” Man: “Am I dying?” Doctor: “No, your wife is”
17. My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she hadn’t told me via email.
18. I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile, and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.
19. Tsays tip: If your wife says,s: “What would you most like to do to my body?”, “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
20. I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.
21. Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. “My friend isn’t breathing,” he shouts into the phone. “What should I do?” “Relax,” the operator tells him. “I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, “OK, now what?”
22. A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey, mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
23. A man goes to the library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
24. A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny’s mother says, “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they’re bound to be curious about sex at that age.” “Curious about sex?” replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken her fucking appendix out!”
25. I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.
26. ‘You the bomb.’ ‘No, the bomb.’ A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
27. My therapist said time heals all wounds. So I stabbed her.
28. Stop elephant poaching. Everyone knows the best way to eat an elephant is grilled.
29. If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
30. Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
31. Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.
32. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Lovely saying. Terrible way to find out you’re adopted.

Good sort of jokes

Enjoy these good dark humor jokes offering milder morbid fun with clever insights, for those preferring subtle taboo tickles. Curated in 2025 with uplifting yet grim updates for balanced amusement.

1. Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
2. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
3. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
4. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
5. I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
6. My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” But they stopped after I started saying that to them at funerals.
7. Happy 70th birthday. At last, you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!
8. I started crying when Dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good hamster.
9. I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother. Not screaming like her passengers.
10. Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
11. Why is it that if you donate one kidney, people love you, but if you donate five kidneys, they call the police?
12. I was playing fantasy football with my friend, and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So we stopped playing fantasy football.
13. I have a stepladder because my real ladder was left when I was just a kid.
14. I’m not completely useless. I make a fantastic bad example.
15. A supernova is a lot like Hollywood. Both are where stars die.
16. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
17. My last date with my ex-girlfriend went terribly. It’s almost like she didn’t want to celebrate the second anniversary of when she dumped me!
18. How’d I learn my rank among my siblings? My mom handed me the camera for every family photo.
19. My parents raised me as an only child, which pissed off my sister.
20. My mother told me, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” Terrible way to learn, I’m adopted.
21. I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
22. The internet is like a series of pipes in that both ultimately lead to the sewer.
23. I always tell new hires, “Don’t think of me as your boss; think of me as your friend who can fire you.”
24. My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
25. Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it. And sometimes it makes you puke.
26. Engraved names of lovers on trees aren’t cute or romantic. They’re creepy reminders of how many people carry knives on dates.
27. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
28. They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.
29. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
30. I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
31. What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
32. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

Grove Sortee jokes

Delve into these gross dark humor jokes, pushing boundaries with offensive morbid twists, for bold souls craving raw taboo comedy. Revised in 2025 with intensified edgy content for unfiltered shocks.

1. What did the deaf and blind orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
2. What’s the difference between Madeline McCann and a pigYou’reou a pig before you spit-roast it. What do you get when you mix an octopus with a black person?
3. What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter. What happens when you eat too many SpaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement. The soldier …
4. Q: What’s the difference between a (___ ____ ___ ) mother and a pit bull dog? A: Sooner or later bulldo,, bulldol bulldot‘s go! Q: How many ( ____ ____ ____) …
5. What’s the hardest part of seeing a bus full of children explode? My penis.
6. Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff? ……….Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father. Mommy, Mommy! Daddy’s on fire! ………..Shut up and get the …
7. The midwife comes to him and ssaysSir, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is, the baby is ginger. The good news is she died.”.
8. Why aren’t orphans good at poker?? Because they don’t know what a ‘Full house’ is. What’s the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
9. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What’s worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.
10. A man goes into a cave. His battery gives out on his torch, then he hears a mouse. Or a rat. Something anyway. He’s scared, so he prays to god …
11. What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.
12. Did you hear about the Pillsbury Doughboy? He died of a yeast infection.
13. Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
14. I can count on one hand how many times I have been to Chernobyl. It’s 14.
15. My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I didn’t even care.
16. What is the only thing that vegan kills the mood?
17. A dark joke can consist of many things, and you can flavor it to fit any occasion. Some of them are straight-up offensive jokes, others can involve a gut- …
18. Appreciation for dark humor is like legs. Some people have it, and some don’t. What makes a joke dark? It’s the fact that …
19. The old man asks, “Son, can I have some of your chips?” The boy asks, “Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your asshole?” The old man says, “It sure can.” The …
20. Girlfriend: “Am I pretty or ugly?” Boyfriend: “You’re both.” Girlfriend: “What do you mean?” Boyfriend: “You’re pretty ugly.”.
21. Q: Why don’t the blind go to hell? A: Because the devil is afraid they’ll step on his tail.
22. I guess this is some kind of dirjokee.nd I apologize in advance, but can someone explain to me what this means?
23. What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.
24. A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched with tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”
25. Wanna hear a joke about trickle-down economics? Eh, never mind—99 percent of you will never get it.
26. “I have good and bad news,” the doctor said to his patient. “Give me the good news first,” the patient said. “Your test results are back,” the doctor said, “and you have only two days to live.” “That’s the good news?” the patient exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?” “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
27. What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
28. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
29. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
30. I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
31. They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
32. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section.

Conclusion

As we wrap up this wild ride through the world of dark humor, we hope these Sorte Jokes brought a smile (or a smirk) to your face. This collection of over 100 hilarious and daring quips is perfect for those who love humor with a sharp edge. Whether you shared these with friends or kept them as your guilty pleasure, we’re thrilled to deliver the best Sorte Jokes of 2025. Keep coming back for more laughs, and don’t forget to explore our blog for other humor-packed content. Stay witty, stay bold, and let the dark humor keep you entertained all year long!

FAQs

1. What are Sorte Jokes?

Sorte Jokes are a unique blend of humor, often combining witty punchlines with dark, edgy themes that push boundaries while keeping you laughing.

2. Are Sorte Jokes suitable for all audiences?

Not quite! These jokes often lean into dark humor, so they’re best for those who enjoy bold, sarcastic, or slightly twisted comedy.

3. Where can I find the best Sorte Jokes for 2025?

Our blog features over 100 of the funniest and most daring Sorte Jokes, perfect for humor lovers seeking fresh content.

4. Can I share Sorte Jokes with friends?

Absolutely! These jokes are great for sharing with friends who appreciate a good mix of humor and wit—just gauge their taste first!

5. Why are Sorte Jokes so popular?

Their unique combination of clever wordplay and dark humor makes them a hit among those who love unconventional comedy.

6. Are there new Sorte Jokes every year?

Yes! Our 2025 collection brings fresh, hilarious, and bold jokes to keep the dark humor scene exciting and relevant.

7. How do I come up with my own Sorte Jokes?

Start with a witty observation, add a dark twist, and keep it concise—practice makes perfect in crafting these edgy quips!

8. Are Sorte Jokes offensive?

Some may find them edgy due to their dark humor, but they’re crafted to entertain those who enjoy bold comedic styles.

9. Can Sorte Jokes be used at parties?

Definitely! They’re great icebreakers for crowds that appreciate sharp humor—just ensure the audience is on board.

10. Where can I read more about Sorte Jokes?

Check out our blog for more collections, tips, and updates on the latest trends in dark humor comedy!